Monday, June 27, 2005

12 Years

You know, it's funny how things happen sometimes.

Sometimes, you get into a situation you later find you really just can't get out of.

Sometimes, you're in a situation and things are literally blowing up all around you and you still can't get out of it.

Sometimes, you find yourself stuck in a situation that you might not be able to get out of for 5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years.

Sometimes, you do stupid things and regret them later and have to apologize profusely.

Sometimes, you're in Iraq.

Oh, except that last one. You never regret or apologize profusely when it comes to invading a country.

Really, there's not much more than can be said about this, right? I mean, to beat a dead horse is one thing, but to beat a dead horse, lead it to water, drown it, make it into dog food, then kill the dog that eats it and proceed to beat the dead dog... well, you have to draw the line somewhere, right?

So I'll just say this -- there's been a lot of people saying about how Rumsfeld recently said "Insurgencies tend to go on for 5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years" -- echoing all these comments that his advisors had made about how the insurgency is going to last a lot longer than it takes for a "Mission Accomplished" banner to deteriorate from bombardments of sea salt.

Here's what I have to say -- yeah, we all know by now that it's going to last for quite a while. Anyone who doesn't is a dumb, dumb, dumb motherfucker who watches too much Fox News. (Ironically, the quotation above was from an appearance on Fox News Sunday.) But what amazes me is that even in conceding that it may last up to 12 years (read: for about 25 years), Rumsfeld is still incapable of being specific. Really, what's it matter if it's up to 12 years when he said "5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years" -- at that point shouldn't the headline change from "Rumsfeld says insurgency may last up to 12 years" to "Rumsfeld admits he has no fucking clue what's going on around him"? Because honestly, that's what he's saying at this point, isn't it? It's not like he literally said "up to 12 years," what he did was call out the numbers for last week's lottery drawing. How the fuck is it possible to take that seriously when he mentioned FIVE different lengths of time that it COULD last? Is that or is that not equivalent to saying "Dude, I don't know, don't fucking ask me."

Point number two - the insurgency is getting stronger. Rumsfeld also said "they're killing a lot more Iraqis" -- in other words, nobody's able to stop them from blowing up all sorts of shit at this point. But what's amazing is that not only are they getting better at the tactics they're using, they're employing new, fresh, creative ways of executing them. (No pun intended.) Last week, "insurgents" (aka "patriots") put an explosive on a belt, put that belt on a dog, and sent the dog into a group of police officers... you seriously HAVE to admire that kind of creativity. That's the kind of outside-the-box thinking that would propel you to management in any US corporation. Speaking of which, how long do you think it will be before Lockheed Martin builds a robotic dog (like Aibo, the robotic Sony dog) that is capable of acting just like a real dog until it blows up, setting off a dirty bomb or a bunker buster hidden in its stomach?
Trojan dogs. Jeesh.

Good times are around the corner, eh?

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Temperature in Austin

... has gotten over 100 for the last three days straight. Maybe it's been more than that, but that's the first time I actually saw a thermometer.


Sunday, June 05, 2005

Quotation of the day

Okay, I couldn't resist. This one just had to be put out there. It's from an Newsweek article on ... "Bad Girls Go Wild." Yeah, and that's just where the funny starts.

So this girl... well, let's let the article tell the story:

A quick look at recent headlines is overwhelming indeed. On April 20, a 17-year-old from Lexington, Mass., allegedly slashed open the neck and face of another girl with a bottle of Twisted Tea.

Okay, so there's the back story. And all I really have to say is... DAMN, that's some TWISTED Tea!
Seriously, folks, that's the kind of advertisement we should be seeing on TV for this pseudo-"X-Treeem" bullshit, not actors pretending to skateboard. But I digress.

On to the funny!

Jennifer Orangio, the 18-year-old slashing victim in Massachusetts, says that when she came upon her boyfriend hanging out with an ex in the school parking lot, the heat of her own reaction took her by surprise. Orangio went up to the other girl, Jamie Pelletier, and pushed her. Pelletier "threatened to smash a bottle over my head ... I was, like, 'Go ahead, do it!' And she did it."

Hahahahaha. Seriously, folks, you can't make up this shit.

Have a good night.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Outside World

Yeah, yeah. I know, you all loooooove hearing me talk about work so much, so I'm sure you're pissed to see "The Outside World" as the title of this post. Well, fuck you. Sometimes you have to pay at least some tribute to the concept that the world is indeed round, big, and has a whole lot more people on it than you can possibly fucking comprehend. So, towards that end, it's time for yet another installment of "WTF? Non-U.S.? What?"

This time around, I'm doing a little cheating, though. See if you can figure it out. There'll be prizes, in the form of melted 6 year old "Dum-Dum" (r) lollipops.
Today's them is "global merging."

First item shows that the merging of seperate countries into larger groups isn't quite working out so well, whether that be for good or bad. Holland recently rejected a referendum to adopt the EU Constitution, just a few weeks after a French referendum turned out the same result -- although actually the percentage of Dutch voting against it was quite a bit higher than the French percentage.

So, what does this mean? Are Holland and France no longer part of the EU now?

Well, no. See, by saying no to the Constitution, they said that they don't want a EU flag, EU President, and EU central bureaucracy. The Constitution has to be passed by all 25 EU members to be adopted, and it's already been rejected by 2 of them. That's quite an impediment, and major changes will need to be made if this thing's going to fly at all. You ask me, and it's going be another 20-50 years (a wide range, I know, bite me) before this thing might actually happen. So, since the Constitution hasn't passed, the EU will remain as it is - basically and economic cooperative.

Okay, you know how this works. I tell you the news, explain it, and then add my useless little opinion at the end. So...

Here's the major fucking problem with this that I have. Europe is powerful. Very powerful. They have the economic etc. power to have a huge influence. But if they continue to insist on these levels of autonomy, it's just not going to work, and they're going to continue to lose power and bargaining strength, as they have been for the last couple decades. When you've got the US, China, and Russia, who gives a fuck about Europe, right? Can you even name all 25 countries in the EU? Do you give a shit about the fact that you can't? That's what I thought.

Okay, here's a better question: How many countries in the EU are bigger than Texas? Hmm? How many are bigger than Kansas, for that matter? Oh, oh, better question: How many are smaller than Vermont?

Get it together, fuckers! You NEED this! You need to unite completely, not just in the sense of a few trade organizations! You need to unite, show a strong front, and use your collective strength to really make an impact!

Not to mention that this is the natural trend, if you haven't read a fucking history book lately. Germany used to consist of well over 300 different nations, now it's united under one. Now, let's see, do you think Germany does better now, or did they do better in the FUCKING MIDDLE AGES?

Okay, okay, you see my point.

So, here's item number two:

Bill Clinton.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. So apparently this whole goal of becoming SG of the UN is more real than we might have once thought. Apparently it's "more than a flight of fancy but less than a serious prospect."

Clinton has been in India, Sri Lanka, ... oh shit, why bother even listing all of them? The point is, he's been a lot of places recently, and a lot of people have had fantastic things to say about him. As a matter of fact, his popularity around the world has been steadily growing for a while now, in large part due to his message of peace through friendship and alliances, in sharp juxtaposition to the Bush doctrine of "bomb you into peacefulness." Not only has this won friends in areas concerned about getting bombed, it's won lots of allies in places where they're concerned about being marginalized, such as... oh, let's see... all of Europe.

Well, again, it's still only a distant thing, and at that not necessarily a likely possibility, but still... I've been hoping for this ever since I heard about it some 3 or so years ago, and seeing it actually be a major Washington Post story today makes it seem much more likely. Allah be praised.


Whew, I should come up with some sort of coherent closing for this, but I'm fucking tired, and I think you can figure it out - global political arena shifting in strange ways, kind of like a vibration, Clinton maybe uniting global community, French and Dutch voting against unification -- I'm sure you've figured out what this all means.

It means -- we're fucked! Run for the hills! The Armageddon is here!

Oh, wait, no, that's what it means when Bush and Cheney both call the Amnesty International assessment of Guantanamo Bay as "absurd" since it claims that the conditions are deplorable and worse than in the gulag.

Had to end on a downer, didn't I?
Take that, fuckers.

Until next time.